Questions
by JuuichirouX
Summary: Her eyes were like a mirror, except they showed her relefection. Kuririn notices that something is troubling Juuhachigou... questions of her past, present, and future. But most importantly, about him.


Questions

**Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ.**

_A/N: My first fanfic on this site. I hope you'll enjoy cuz I really like K/18. They are so cute and their couple's sort of a mystery. This is just something I randomly thought of one day . . . . Kuririn's POV. BTW, I watch the English version, but the subbed names sound way too cool. So I'm using them._

Questions

I couldn't sense her at all. Her strength, her aura, were unknown to me.

But I could still feel her confusion towards me.

Her wariness and anxiety.

The way she avoided me and preferred to outside than indoors with us. The way she looked at me, a gaze undetected by others, but to me, it was filled with questions and puzzlement. Questions that I knew she wanted the answers to.

I wondered why she never asked me, though. I knew she badly desired them. To me, she was terrible at hiding her emotions. Her seemingly shallow exterior couldn't properly veil them.

Everyday when we passed each other, she would give me a glare that could set anyone but mine's teeth on edge. Because I looked past it. I looked past it and saw that she was brooding over something . . . perplexed and angry.

I could tell that she was angry at me for not telling her the answers she craved. But why didn't she just ask me for them?

Was she afraid or something?

I could never sense that in her attitude. She may be unsure at times, yes, but I've never felt her fear; well, maybe that one time . . . .

She was sitting outside on the roof, hugging her knees to her chest, a familiar position I had watched her take on since the day after she'd arrived her, exhausted and uneasy. Insecure.

I just stood there from the sliding glass door, studying her.

Her posture out there was stiff and immobile. _Flawless._ I wondered how she could stay like that for half of the day.

She was amazing. She was . . . troubled.

And so I went out there, hoping my courage in confronting her would stay instead of wane.

The sand warmed my feet as I walked out there, but my toes were instantly chilled as I took to the skies.

When I sat down next to her, she didn't tell me to go away or to "buzz off;" only a look full of genuine astonishment.

I flashed her one of my warmest smiles, but she turned away, the lilting sunlight gleaming off of her blonde locks of silk.

She was so _pretty_ . . . so gorgeous that she made my heart ache. Did she know what she did to me? Did she know that her eyes, those solid, yet agonizingly beautiful, blue irises made me melt inside? Did she know that it hurt every time she batted a teasing, dark eyelash my way? She . . . she couldn't understand what it did to me . . . her rare smiles, her everything. It just made my love for her grow and it might've . . . she might not have wanted it.

And then, after a while of silence in staring at the sparkling waters of the ocean, Juuhachigou spoke: "What are you doing up here? You know this is where I go."

I smiled again, but my tone was serious. "Because . . . I want you to ask."

"Hmm?" She gave me a sideways glance. "What do you mean?" But her voice sounded somewhat panicked, as if she knew exactly what I meant.

"Ask," I repeated softly. "Please."

Juuhachigou was no longer facing me. "Pfft. Let me know when you stop talking nonsense."

Her lies pained me more than her distancy. It made me feel like she had nothing to do with me.

I scooted along the rough pavement of the roof to get closer to her. "Juuhachigou . . . please. I can see the confusion . . . in your eyes. The pain. So ask me."

"I don't need to ask you," she muttered quietly, the wind tossing her light-golden tresses around. "I don't want any 'answers.' I don't care for any."

But I knew she did. She ached for those answers.

"Juu, please don't lie to me," I pleaded gently, my voice sincere. _Because you don't have any idea how much it hurts._ "All you have to do is ask. And I'll tell you . . . I promise."

"I don't want to ask you!" Her normally level voice was cracking, bits of emotion seeping through, much to my surprise. "There's - there's just too many questions, Kuririn, that have been gnawing at me. And _you_, you couldn't possibly answer all of them. So I won't ask . . . ."

That's what she was worried about? Asking questions that I wouldn't know the answers to? I just wanted to see her contented for a change. So even if I didn't know the answers, I would still attempt one.

So I said, "Try me."

I guessed it was the heartfelt serenity in my voice that set her off again. Only this time, tears were welling freely in her pale, azure eyes. I was astounded. She was _crying_? Had I done that? I hadn't meant to.

She then started tilting her head back, glaring at the sky, as if to suck the tears back into her eyes. "Just shut up."

I sighed and we sat quietly for a moment, me picking absently at the red bits and pieces of the roof.

Again, Juuhachigou was the one to break the silence with a noisy exhalation, resting her elbow on one knee and chin in one palm: "Why're you . . . the kindest, most devoted human I've ever met? To me, I mean . . . . That's just been on my mind . . . since I've been here." Her voice was small and fatigued, as if she were tired in the head.

I blinked in astonishment. Had she really asked me that?

"I- I . . . well, _someone's_ gotta be the kindest," I faltered quickly.

She frowned, her voice sounding distant, "No. All humans are the same. There can't be a '_kindest_.' They all have to be equally kind. But the pig and old man . . . ," she paused to cast me a fleeting glance, "they're not nearly as nice to me as you are. Now, why do you think's that?"

I shrugged timidly. "Oh. I- I just like you more than they do."

The blonde bit her bottom lip. "Why, though? I haven't done anything in particular to earn your respect."

When I shrugged again, she suddenly stood up, her back to me, arms crossed. "See? I shouldn't have shared my mind with you. You don't have an answer for me anyway."

I furrowed my brows at her annoyance towards me. "Ask me another."

She kicked mildly at the roof, glowering at the sun. "Why should I? You couldn't even answer the first."

"That one . . . it's hard to explain," I said tentatively.

"So you do have it?" Juuhachigou was facing me again, her vibrant, cerulean eyes probing my face.

I began to fidget nervously. "Kind of . . . ."

She sighed. "But you won't tell."

"I can- I can answer another," I suggested again, feeling guilty.

Juuhachigou sat down with a huff. "Don't bother." Her tone and eyes were bitter. "I told you that you couldn't help. Even when the subject's about you . . . ."

I stared at my knees, repentant. "Juuhachigou . . . s-"

"_What_?" She snapped irritably. "You told me to ask. So I did. And you couldn't answer. You _can't_ help me. So why are you even here?"

I swallowed thickly at her somewhat stinging words. "B-because you're lonely out here, hurting by yourself. I can see that. And I want to help."

"Keep your assumptions to yourself," she muttered venomously. "I'm not lonely. I don't need you or _anyone_. But you . . . _you_ need _me_ . . . to play antidote for your pathetic, little crush."

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at her, shocked, my heart throbbing in my chest. She was so wrong . . . . And I wished I could tell her . . . show her correctly. "Juu-chan . . . it's not like that."

Her enthralling, sapphire eyes were dark to match her expression. "Do _not_ . . . refer to me as that, as if . . . we're more than acquaintances."

I grimaced, gazing at her intently. "My bad, I'm sorry. But I swear I can answer anything else you haven't worded. I swear to Kami. I'm sure you-"

"Leave me alone, Kuririn. I told you, it's too much . . . ."

"Like you said, I'm too devoted to you to not try and help."

Her voice was almost a whisper and I could hear the uncertainty and discomfort clearer than ever then. "Well . . . _don't_ be."

I lowered my voice as well, shifting closer so that I could stare into those enticing orbs of blue once more. "Why not?" I needed to know why she rejected my care so often. I understood that she was an independent type of girl, but I could tell it was something deeper.

Juuhachigou didn't answer me. Instead, she hesitated about something, watching fixedly at the morning horizon.

I waited patiently, keenly listening to the sparkling waves crash gently onto the island shore.

Finally, she told me almost mutely, tucking a strand of yellowness behind one ear, "There's so much I want to learn, Kuririn."

When I looked at her, my eyes quizzical, her light-golden eyebrows knitted together, as if thinking of a way to explain things.

"I have so much information, almost too much, yet it's all useless to me now," she said, tapping her forehead. "Because I feel like I've lost more than half of my life . . . both as an android . . . and as a human. Searching for Son Goku . . . it was a waste of my time. And I want to know now of what I was before. And if I had any other relatives than my brother. And where Juunanagou is and how I was free from Cell and why you . . . ." She trailed away, leaving me sympathetic and curious.

At last, she started again. "And why you're . . . you. There's so much I don't understand about you, monk. About why you do the most foolhardy things . . . for me. Why would you shatter that emergency shutdown controller, Kuririn, while it could've saved from so much trouble in defeating Cell? Why would you bring me to that . . . _Lookout_ place to be revived after all I've done?"

My body grew hot and jittery at her questions and I didn't know how to respond. She'd never talked this much before. I didn't even know if she was really asking me or just stating what was on her mind. So I kept my mouth closed.

"And why would you . . . let me stay here? And take up for me every time your buddies question me on living with you? 'She's different now, she won't harm you.' How can you be so sure?"

Juuhachigou was eyeing me firmly now, a piercing stare that caused my breath to leave my lungs.

My tongue wouldn't work for a moment. " . . . W-well, beca-"

"No." She sounded sharp, yet pensive at the same time. "You're right, anyhow. I _am_ different than before; I can feel that. Because every time I _try_, every time I _want_ to kill you, I can't. I won't let myself. It doesn't make sense, right?"

My stomach did back-flips. She thought about _killing_ me?

I grazed my tongue against my bottom lip, asking a very risky question: "Why can't you?"

Her face was in a mystified scowl. "I don't know. And it's only _you_. With the one you call Muten Roshi, whenever he makes a move, I feel I could snap his neck right there or use my fingernails to taste his blood. But it would upset you, wouldn't it? So I don't do it."

I blinked at her, understanding the slightest bit of what she was saying. I practically breathed it out, "Oh, Juu, you _care_ . . . ."

"I care?" One of Juuhachigou's blonde eyebrows arched curiously. "About-?"

"About _me_," I interrupted, an anxious sensation dwelling within the pit of my stomach. "Juuhachigou, you _care_ about me. You really care . . . ."

A peculiar expression crossed over her face before she indignantly spat, "I do not _care_ for you, monk. I _don't_."

But I knew she did. She had to have. Why _else_ would she try to keep me from being displeased or refrain from killing me? She said it was just me. Only me. And I knew that she cared because . . . I don't like to see her bothered. I pick up for her, I try to keep her happy, I help her out because . . . _I_ care.

So I gave her a steady stare. "You do care, Juu. Why _else_ do you think you'd worry about what I think? You live with me, Juu. You know, it would be considered normal that you develop an . . . um, well . . . kindred feeling toward me."

Her sharp eyes narrowed, slightly filled with disgust that made my breath ragged for a second. "I don't _have_ that sort of _emotion_ for you. It's only a feeling of debt."

"Juuhachigou, do you really have to deny it?"

"It's not denying anything if it's not there."

"So if I jumped off of a cliff without catching myself and drop my ki and defense with you standing right there, you wouldn't care?"

"Of course not. I would write 'Plain Idiotic' on your tombstone."

"If I went out into the ocean, dived underwater, breathed water through my mouth, and drowned, you wouldn't care?"

"No, I wouldn't."

I chewed tensely my bottom lip. "If I asked you to kill me, would you do it?"

"Why, do you _want_ me to?" Both of her perfect brows were lifted inquisitively.

"_Would you_, Juuhachigou?"

" . . . yes."

Both corners of my mouth turn downward. "Because you want to, or because I asked?"

"Both . . . ."

I felt sick, my stomach churning with apprehension. I knew what I was doing. It was just to prove her wrong "Then do it. Murder me, Juuhachigou. You _are_ a killer, aren't you? Go ahead."

The cyborg blinked, frowning. "Don't play games with me, Kuririn."

My mouth felt dry. "I'm not. If you really don't care about me, then just kill me. Doesn't matter to me anyway; Otherworld is rather fun."

A stoic expression passed over her face. "You're stupid."

"Get it over with!"

Juuhachigou eyed me long and hard. "No."

I was inwardly relieved. "Why not?"

"Because you're just doing that to see if I care. It's really futile. Anyone could care for someone, but still bump them off in the end."

"But why would you mind if I didn't really want to die? Goku didn't want to die, but you were willing to kill him anyways."

She was silent for a while, studying the roof underneath her. I knew I had her there. She couldn't decline me any longer.

"I don't know," she mumbled mulishly.

"It's because you care," I told her softly. "You care what happens to me."

"_No I don't_." She turned away from me to scowl at the sea. "You're just a human. I feel nothing toward you. Absolutely nothing."

"Juu-chan," I wanted so badly to cup her chin in my hand and make her look at me. I wanted so badly to caress her cheek and to tell her just how I felt about her. I wanted to make her _see_ . . . that caring for someone wasn't wrong and that she shouldn't be ashamed.

I tenderly touched her sleeved arm instead. "Would it be immoral if you _did_ care for me? Would it be that terrible that you have to disown the feeling? Because it's not bad, Juuhachi. _I_ care about _you_. So much that . . . every time you're suffering, I'm suffering. I can't bear to see you mad."

To my surprise, Juuhachigou didn't shake my hand off, her attractive face, to some extent, was taken aback.

I moved my hand farther up her arm to her shoulder, entangling my fingers within her silky hair so I could whisper in her ear. I was sitting sideways so that her right shoulder budged into my chest. "Would you like it if I told you the answer to your first question now? I'll tell you now, Juuhachigou, I promise I will."

Her head nodded slightly, still not looking at me.

I stroked her flaxen locks fondly, my lips faintly brushing her ear. "I know you did nothing to earn my respect, affection, or home, Juu-chan, but I can't help but . . . love you anyway."

I felt her body stiffen against my upper torso, her breath drawn short.

"I smashed Buruma's device because I _love_ you, Juuhachigou. I let you live here because I love you. I _defend_ you because I love you. I asked Kami-sama to rejuvenate you because I _love_ you. I made that wish on The Eternal Dragon for _you_ because I _love you_." I paused, my hand descending to finger one of her warm, smooth cheeks with my thumb. "Do you see now, Juuhachigou? What I feel for you and what I do because of it? Do you appreciate my care for you now?" I closed my eyes for a moment, bowing my head wistfully. "You won't discard it still, will you? Because I try so hard . . . to make you happy, Juu . . . ."

Juuhachigou still hadn't thrust me away from her. The thought that she wanted me around was comforting.

"Why," her voice was low and husky and when she slightly cringed after, I knew she was embarrassed by that, "do you, Kuririn? Like me, I mean. I'm _artificial_, you dimwit. I'm a killer."

I noticed and respected how she didn't say the word that I'd been using the whole time.

But her question caught me by surprise. Did she doubt me or just genuinely wanted to know? I liked everything about her: her beauty, her personality, her stamina, her grace . . . she was just so marvelous. Perfect.

"I love you because you're you. I don't care what you were before. You were still innocent, worthy to me, even as you threatened to destroy me when I saw you at that store that one time. I care what you are now, Juu. You're just so . . . cool. I just love the way you are, how you act . . . everything."

I might've been imagining, but it seemed Juuhachigou was leaning back into me, the soft breeze that made her hair flutter tickling my neck.

We didn't say anything for a long while, just sat there in peace, enjoying each other's company and breathing in the salty air. Well, at least, _I_ took pleasure in _her_ company.

At last, Juuhachigou asked me, "Was it the kiss, Kuririn?"

The mention of the word 'kiss' caught me off guard. "W-what?"

"After I fought Vegeta. The stupid kiss on the cheek that had you trembling like a wet dog was what enticed you, wasn't it?"

I felt my ears burning. " . . . kinda. And the fact that you were pretty and kissed me and called finding Son Goku and killing him a game . . . was sorta childish. So I wondered if you were all that bad. And when I saw you scared of Cell, you appeared so vulnerable and sweet and I thought, 'Dude, I so can't blast this chick afterward.' Plus, Juurokugou looked scary."

A corner of Juuhachigou's mouth twitched slightly upward. "You sure are easy to seduce . . . ."

"And you sure are _seducing_," I mumbled, pouting.

She was finally looking at me again, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"What?" I quickly asked back to throw her off. "I didn't say anything."

Her eyes were skeptical.

I coughed awkwardly. "_So_ . . . is that all you have to ask me, Juu?" I fingers when up to her hair again. "Is that all you had on your mind about me? I'm so happy you asked."

"You've answered everything, Kuririn . . . ." Her voice was nearly inaudible.

An affectionate smile graced my lips. "I'll answer anything you want me to."

"Thank you."

"Huh?" I looked at her, startled.

Juuhachigou stood and stretched, floating down off of the roof. "Thanks . . . for answering me, you know. I've been sick of thinking about why you did things."

I grinned, following her. " . . . you're welcome, Juu-chan."

The vague smile was still there. "Well, then, let's go inside, _Kuririn-kun_. I'm hungry."

Even though I knew she was kidding bigtime because of what I called _her_, my heart couldn't help but leap hopefully.

_A/N: Yay, first story! I feel this went in so many different directions and conversations, but plenty of K/18 fluffiness! Please review and tell me what you think! _


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